Nurturer or the hunter?

The intrinsic strength of a woman since the beginning has been that of a procreator and nurturer, and that of a man has been of a provider and protector. This by no means implies that these roles cannot overlap or not be carried out efficiently by either of them. Also both the roles are equally important and demand the same level of respect. However, our Indian society seems to devalue the role of women and places more value on the economic aspect of the role of a man. This years of lopsided psychological mindset has in turn not only given women an inferiority complex ( especially in the absence of education and prevalence of poverty) but has also led to an insidious attack on their very existence at birth. The minute a daughter is born the societal expectations of what is demanded from a girl's parents jumps into the mind--- she will marry and leave as opposed to a son who will not. This means that she is an expensive liability with dowry to be given and not an asset who will add to the economic well being of the family. This mindset is really absurd. We need to change this psyche. Son or daughter, both, will eventually have lives and families of their own. It is not necessary that sons will always be living with you. Also why should the financial burden of a girl's marriage should be that of her family only. Why dowry? Why should marriages be occasions of financial excesses? Unless woman don't start valuing themselves as individuals and stand up to fight these norms they will continue to pass this complex down to their daughters. We need to educate our women, make our sons more sensitive and respectful of women and quit thinking that marriage should be the goal of every girl's life.  If we don't stop marginalizing women in our society future generations will inherit a skewed population where the tender, gentle, nurturing,spiritual influence of a wife, mother, daughter and friend will be lost.

What can we bequeath to our children?

I am not really a religious person. I don't feel the connect with the number of festivals that we celebrate and hardly ever make the effort to visit the temple. Am neither justifying my attitude nor am defensive about it. I only know that the religion that I am born into though being a apart of my identity is not a defining factor of me as a person. I think it's my strong belief in universal spirituality which determines the kind of person I am. I have never urged or insisted that my children follow certain religious practices or beliefs which strengthen their sense of self as belonging to a particular religion and community. So, when recently we went to the temple and I saw my boys stand there with a certain self consciousness of not knowing what to do I felt the need to overhaul my role as a parent. I realised that I needed them to understand and learn about having faith in something immortal, omnipresent and supreme. I would fail my role as a parent if they didn't have the strength of faith in God, the deep instinct that no matter what messed up situations and pressures they face in life they just need to put in their best and leave the result up to HIM. This isn't about going to the temple and praying but knowing that when you face a dead end and don't know whom to turn to for help , the ultimate place is a sacred place of spirituality and worship. That is the biggest inheritance that I could bequeath to themnt.