Do you enjoy the person you have evolved into?

Something has changed inside me. I feel smug about my age. I feel as if I have achieved a milestone by reaching my midforties. There is this confidence of being comfortable in my own skin and the clarity of thought about my opinions. Not that I was uncomfortable with myself before or confused about my own thought processes, but there is this quite confidence and joy of breaking free of the niggling voice in the mind which would fret over what  others thought. The social censorship has lost its hypnotic power and a strong sense of self has taken hold. Apart from the breaking free emotions I like way I look now. As I look at myself I see a self-assured woman and not a  half baked twenty something who is struggling to live upto the expectations being thrust upon her by the family and society. It is nice to see the wise sensuality of a woman in the mirror than the green inexperience of a young girl. It is a liberating experience to understand what makes me tick and have the courage to be true to myself. I enjoy the person that I have grown into. 

How do we deal with being emotionally hurt?

So many times we feel hurt, slighted, neglected or ignored by friends, family members or acquaintances and carry that in our hearts and minds. It is easy to deal with hurt when strangers are involved --- we can retaliate and know we don't have to have them in our lives. But what does one do when it is someone you cannot delete from your life on a permanent basis? We have to learn how to handle these relationships by applying a multi pronged strategy as there is no single, sure short way of having a successful  interaction with people who hurt us. One obvious way is to limit our interaction to polite social chit chat and stick to neutral topics ranging from the weather to movies so that personal opinions and beliefs are avoided. Another way would be to focus on what we can learn from the other person's strong points.We don't need to gush with compliments but can use this relationship as an opportunity to observe someone who is different from us and imbibe traits which can help us. This takes your attention away from the hurt, the emotional upheavles, the negatives of the other person and makes our self improvement as the focal point. It is not supposed to land us in a competitive situation but intended to change focus to learning, growing  and maturing spiritually from every relationship. Third way would be to not shut ourself in a cocoon but seek to share our experience with people we trust. The idea is not to seek advice but a sympathetic ear and shoulder. Just as happiness doubles when shared, sorrow halves when shared. Lastly, we must do our utmost to not becoming the other person by doing the same thing as then nothing differentiates or makes us better than him or her.We urgently need to protect your core goodness  by resisting the urge to indulge in the same retaliatory behaviour. This is the spiritual test that we have been up for and have to pass . We win when we envelope ourselves in warm, positive and caring energy which attracts the same energy from other people.

Heart or the mind?

Heart is the place where all the burning motivations of our lives take birth. Capture the heart of a person and you have won him over for life. If the heart is convinced of an objective then everything just falls into place and the mind plans and strategizes to achieve the goal. The important thing to understand, is that, it is the heart which is the source of our motivations and the most basic thing that  every heart wants is peace and happiness. But most of the time we forget this and live in a virtual world of our mind which is obsessed by trying to flaunt the most attractive image of ourselves to the world. It is constantly analyzing of what the outside world thinks of us and prodding us to compete so that we emerge as the winners. This struggle between the heart and the mind is the source of all negative emotions of worries, inadequacies, anger, jealousy and unrestrained desires. So every  time we face anxiety and anger, we need to stop and ask what is it that my heart really wants and not my ego dominated mind. Follow your heart and everything will just fall into place.

How would GOD answer these questions?

Sometimes I wonder how God Almighty would answer these questions-

1. Were you ever a teenager who hated pimples and wondered what you would do when you grew up?
2. Do you sometimes fear you might have goofed up after creating us -the human race, or are we a result of a goof up?
3. Were you in a fantastic mood when you made George Cloony and Angelina Jolie? You definitely must not have been feeling so good when it was my creation time!!
4. Are you married and how do you get along with your mother- in-law?
5. If we are your children, then the rate at which human population is growing doesn't it want to make you think of birth control?
6. Ever had mid life crisis when you suddenly don't know what to do?
7. What are your retirement plans? Think you will be able to save enough or economics is not your area of interest?
8. What do you do in your leisure time? Golf? Shopping? 
9. Do you have weight issues and what diet do you follow?
10. Lastly, what is your email id? I got a couple of requests and would like to mail them to you. Prayer system of communication doesn't seem to be very effective these days!

Do we appreciate the canvas of our lives?

Think of our lives as an art class being conducted by God. We sit through the class and learn to paint the canvas of our lives with the spectrum of colours available to us in the form of emotions. HE guides us subtly like any good teacher. HE gives us the freedom to choose bright , intense and warm colours like red, orange and yellow reflected by energy, strength, courage, power, passion, desire, joy, happiness, intellect and love.We can also choose light, cool and tranquil colours of blue, green and purple which are associated with feelings of nature,  freshness, calmness, serenity, truth, dignity, nobility, ambition etc. Then we have colours like white which stand for purity, innocence and faith, and the colour gold which symbolises prestige, wealth , wisdom and quality.  Then there is black which is associated with power, elegance, formality, death and evil. So, each us paints our lives, filling it with what we choose to experience emotionally.  In our lives situations and people of varying qualities come and go beyond our control at times, but how we choose to react and experience is within our control. And this is the skill and wisdom we need to develop  to paint the canvas of our life and make it beautiful. All of us go about painting our own individual, unique, personal masterpieces which are incomparable. To look at another individual's and feel yours is not pretty enough or to try and duplicate one which you aspire is not really wise. Each soul's journey is a masterpiece in progress with its own unique combination of colours and theme. Each birth is a canvas which we get to improve upon our previous effort. We graduate when we finally learn the importance of all the colours in the spectrum and how to use them. 

What is your relationship with God like?

Sometimes, I am really angry with Him. Sometimes, I am just fed with. Sometimes, I am sure he chooses to exercise selective hearing where my prayers concerned. Sometimes, I don't want to plead for any help because I have given up on his speed of response. There definitely are hiccups in our communication!! However, there are occasions when I am downright grateful to Him for every little thing in my life. Though, I do wish he could be more indulgent of me as a young child instead of treating me like an adult and letting me learn from my own struggles. I want to be pampered a little!! Hellooooooo! I hope you are listening. I don't want to be spoiled rotten by having every whim and fancy satisfied but it wouldn't do any harm to have a few WANTS met at the click of his fingers. He is strict parent with me. I have grown up stronger, wiser and kinder because of the way he has brought me up. I know that and I appreciate that. But just as a child thinks ,at times, I feel that others have a more understanding and nicer God who give in to their whims more often. So, its a complicated relationship between the two of us just as between any parent and child, till I decide to grow up.

Are you a generous person?

 For some it is coded into their genetic material to be giving in both spiritual and material terms. However, most of us struggle in our lives trying to be generous. To be truly able to forgive and forget indiscretions of others and share your resources, one needs to be wholly emotionally strong and materially content. This is easy if there is mutual love, liking and respect. But what if the relationship is fraught with troublesome issues of perceived expectations from certain roles that we play in our lives. How does one deal with trying to be generous when there is a steady, continuous assault on a regular basis in some small way or the other on our self image as a good human being. The first instinct is to react and confront in justifying your position as the righteous one. But if we do not to follow that path then one option is to take refuge in our ego and say that we shall do the politically and morally right thing to have the moral upper hand . The other option is to emotionally distance oneself from the situation and do the best one can of what is expected, with the view, that you do not want to carry the negative emotional baggage and stress that comes from being small minded. I think though the first is very tempting the second option is tougher because it pushes us to be ungrudging and magnanimous without the emotional self- fulfillment and joy of giving and sharing unstintingly, from the heart. It is a small step in the long journey of learning to be generous without expecting something in return.