Where are we searching?

Each one of us has our own special dreams and desires which motivate us to live our lives the way we do and we spend of our lives searching, hunting and running to fulfill them.If we had the right address  from where we could order our dreams we would save so much time and energy in looking for them in the wrong places.Do you go to a fastfood eatery to experience fine dining? Do you go to an opthamologist when you have a dental problem? Do you head to the mall when you want companionship? If we do something so stupid how can we find what we really want. Yet we do it all the time. We look for important things in life in the wrong places and doing the wrong things.We want good health and self image but we run after size zero. We want to connect emotionally wth people yet we flaunt our success when they are struggling. We want less stress in our lives yet we are benchmarking our achievements against others. We want lasting joy and purpose in life yet we dive into mindless material indulgences which give temporary high. We are bored and we fill our social calender so that we busier and lonlier than ever. We want fun and adventure yet we never try something we haven't done before.We want a hopeful future yet we are stuck in past recriminations and are unconciously living the present. What we want is somewhere else than where and how we seek it. Get it right and see how you soar.

What is the purpose of existence?

Every once in a while I tend to wander down a path of inner reflection where I question the purpose for which I am here.Most of you who read this will probably go" Yieeeks " and say just leave this heavy duty stuff and chill out.Yes, but for a compulsive novice, budding philosopher this question is really alluring and I am sure somewhere in your private solitary moments you have pondered on it too.I wish I knew what is expected of me.I wish I knew what I am supposed to learn and accomplish.I wish I knew what my real goal in life is.I really do feel envious of some people who seem to have it all together, sorted out in nice little packets ,their entire life.What about a few like me who are leading perfectly good lives but are beset with questions which seem to loom in front of them? I am assuming if the universe is not sending out personal e-mails stating the purpose of our lives in black and white then it is perfectly fine to create one for ourselves as we evolve or simply just live our lives as an adventure to be relished with courage and creativity. The end result of our lives is only known to the unknown so we should enjoy the freedom given to us to decide how we want to experience the journey of our life-- either we resist the flow of the universe or go along with it. My guess is go with the flow.

Ever feel foolish about certain decisions?

Sometimes we take certain decisions that  later prod us as being foolish and impractical, and wreck our peace with doubts, sadness and regret. I recently bought a beautiful painting which I had requested my cousin to paint for me.Since I wanted a large sized one she told me that four sheets of handmade paper would need to be joined and the joint would be there.Somehow hoping that the joints would get camafloged I told her to proceed with the work. However, after getting it home I regretted my decision and kept looking at the joints. I felt foolish and unhappy with myself. Then I decided to change the way I look at the painting and get honest with myself. As i looked at it I realized hat it was a beautiful piece with amazing colour combination which lit up the lobby. The joints were there but not so visible from a distance and in no way diminish the beauty of the work. If I distanced myself from the need to have a perfection  so that others could admire it then I was at peace.Yes, I probably could have opted for smaller size at hindsight but life is about making choices and learning to live with them happily. So, I choose to live with a large painting with certain imperfections but otherwise perfect because it is colorful and happy in totality.Its the whole that counts not the parts.

How do you start your day?

As I groggily reach my hand out for my daily morning fix of green tea my better half switches on the TV to listen to the news.I close my eyes tightly trying to decide whether i should drink my tea in silence or pour it down his neck. I love my man dearly but his need to be informed about what has happened in the world while he was sleeping, first thing in the morning, is something I just cannot fathom. I think the way we start our day is very significant as it leaves its impact on how we  feel as our day unfolds with life's challenges.Getting deluged with news events of everything that is going wrong in our world from corruption, environmental disasters,violence, inflation, dirty politics, accidents to an entire gamut of human misery is something I don't really find very palatable early morning.When we get up in the morning we need to feel safe, happy and hopeful about our lives and the world we live in. We need a dose of happiness to infuse our lives with enthusiasm so that we can step out and face the tough and challenging world outside.What we need is time to meditate, to listen to soothing music, exercise, read a prayer and listen to positive efforts being made by individuals, organisations and countries. So go change your mornings.

Are you changing the world for better?

Ever thought of how you plan to do this? Lot of us don't because we are just content to live our lives and think this is too humongous a task for a single individual.We all are so busy pursuing success and the business of living that we have forgotten that we can alter the world for the better.One of the biggest motivators in life is the feeling that we make a difference and are needed. Its the feeling of being part of the bigger picture and having a purpose in life. We commit the mistake of substituting this motivator with the concept of money and success and then suffer the consequences of disillusionment. Purge this thought and witness the change in your life. Take care that you aim to make a positive impact and your ego doesn't seek to be noticed. The change that you seek can be one small step at a time. It can be as simple as teaching a child/adult or financing a poor childs education, sharing your skill or expertise to enable self employment for someone, helping out at local the NGO, impacting the environment by not littering, walking short distances,recycling, consuming less energy etc, putting your best attitude forward by being more understanding, compassionate, helpful, patient and cheerful.  Every little gesture of yours has  ripple effect making it into a wave and the contentment experienced by making a positive difference in the world through your thoughts, deeds, gestures, time, money and advocacy is incomparable.

Wish every day were a holiday?

Am back after a long hiatus. Had been away holidaying and now am back with a thud to mother earth. I think I truly live from one holiday to the next. I desperately seek the next break and plan for it like its the sole cause of living. Holidays are magical moments of our lives because they bring out the best in us. We are happy, upbeat and raring to enjoy every second of that time. Talk about living in the present and savouring every second-- holidays epitomize that. They give us the opportunity to be free from from all stresses( professional or otherwise), the chance and the luxury to spend our day the way we want to, the leisure to reflect on our life and the pleasure of spending quality time with our loved ones. Its important to take these breaks from ones routine life as they are rejuvenating and restore  the vitality and enthusiasm to take on the humdrum, mind numbing grind of daily life with refreshed vengeance.Don't we wish we could live every day like that. But I suppose that is like asking for the moon. So chill out now and then to acquaint yourself with the finest part of you and the memory making moments of your lives.

Why do we fear exposing our vulnerabilities?

To acknowledge your insecurities, weaknesses, fears, inadequacies, doubts and negativities in front of others is unimaginable. We are conditioned to believe that exposing a chink in the armour of perfection and success that we build around ourselves would lead to its crumbling like the fall of the Roman Empire. We have learnt to build a protective wall of "been there and done that"  plus" know it all" attitude epitomising confidence to save ourselves from ridicule and rejection. Even as I write and share my thoughts on various things that come to my mind there are well meaning queries about how life is faring for me.We are not at all used to sharing or being transparent about anything remotely personal concerning our lives apart from the superficial stuff. Anyone doing so is a cause for concern. To strip yourself naked of pretensions and have the courage and honesty to share deeper intimate thoughts and opinions helps us to connect with others in a more authentic way. An atmosphere of trust and kinship is created by being vulnerable.Yes, the fear that some people might take advantage of our vulnerabilites is there but why should we be anything less than our true self for the fear of others.Why should we deny ourselves of finding true friends just because of our fears?