Can I be wrong?

This is a question I recently asked myself and accepted that I could have reacted differently in many circumstances to ensure smoother relationships. The minute this thought struck me, I realized that I am not perfect and became less judgemental about the other person. I recognized and acknowledged my personality traits in the other or realized that we are two completely different personalities. Whatever the case, noticing and understanding dissolved the anger and freed me. I no longer saw myself as the wronged, aggrieved perfectly correct person but an imperfect individual. I felt lighter and happier. I have become more forgiving of both myself and the other. I feel more complete and whole even though imperfect. And  this is better as my ego then has less control over me.

Can we separate our aspirations from our ego?

To live in denial about the presence of your ego or in ignorance of its existence, both attitudes are self defeating in achieving your aspirations.Many of our dreams and desires are influenced by the times and the society we live in.The desire may vary in scale from the longing for the limited edition of a designer watch,first time ownership of a car to contesting elections for the highest political office in the country-- but they all are arise from our ego which gets its nourishment and identity from the social and economic systems we inhabit.If we are honest with ourselves then to delink our dreams and desires from our ego is a mammoth,uphill task.And if we are successful in doing so then we can classify ourselves as monks.On the other hand to live hedonistically as a slave to our ego's demands would be to devalue our soul and the higher purpose ones life.We need to strike a balance somewhere in between recognising the presence and the influence of the ego, and giving in to its demands with an alert discerning mind.This is one of the spiritual tests, of decontaminating our soul from materialism, we have to take as humans and pass it with flying grades.

Are you plagued by self doubts?

Whenever we embark on a new venture there is the promise of excitement,adventure and new learnings.Yet, at the same time there is this gnawing fear of how the outside world would percieve, accept and appreciate the tryst with your dreams.This fear is not about your capabilities or enthusiasm to attempt the impossible but the fear of judgement and living upto the expecations of others.Also, along with the fear is the ego wanting recognition and applaud further complicating the emotional mess one already is in.So how does one deal with this? When a painter paints he has a vague mental vision of what his painting might look like and he paints one stroke at a time,sometimes repainting over the past strokes and painstakingly completes the canvas.While he is in the process of painting does he constantly keep thinking about what the finished painting would look like,which art gallery would display it, what kind of reviews it would get or what its market worth would be.He just focuses on getting each stroke as perfect as possible.We too, need to just concentrate on attempting to achieve the best possible strokes for our dream.Feel free from the pressure to perform.Enjoy the journey.You will automatically arrive at the destination.

Do you like yourself?

If you were to be standing naked without the crutches of your ego- the important job,the fancy car, the well toned healthy body,the enviable address and contacts,the clothes, accessories,achievements of spouse, children and self- would you recognise yourself? Would you like the being who is there? Would it be a pleasure to meet yourself? Is this person joyful,compassionate,loving,helpful,honest,courageous and authentic?

Who are you?

When asked this question the top of mind answer would include name,age, profession,marital status and family details.Probe a little more and one mentions religion,country, ethnicity,vegetarianism or non-vegetarianism,economic status etc.Further inquiry reveals likes & dislikes,habits,value and belief system.Beyond this last description there is silence.But it is this core of silence which is you.Its the silence of your consciousness as the observer of your present life that is you.The rest is the ego of your personality.