Do we appreciate the canvas of our lives?

Think of our lives as an art class being conducted by God. We sit through the class and learn to paint the canvas of our lives with the spectrum of colours available to us in the form of emotions. HE guides us subtly like any good teacher. HE gives us the freedom to choose bright , intense and warm colours like red, orange and yellow reflected by energy, strength, courage, power, passion, desire, joy, happiness, intellect and love.We can also choose light, cool and tranquil colours of blue, green and purple which are associated with feelings of nature,  freshness, calmness, serenity, truth, dignity, nobility, ambition etc. Then we have colours like white which stand for purity, innocence and faith, and the colour gold which symbolises prestige, wealth , wisdom and quality.  Then there is black which is associated with power, elegance, formality, death and evil. So, each us paints our lives, filling it with what we choose to experience emotionally.  In our lives situations and people of varying qualities come and go beyond our control at times, but how we choose to react and experience is within our control. And this is the skill and wisdom we need to develop  to paint the canvas of our life and make it beautiful. All of us go about painting our own individual, unique, personal masterpieces which are incomparable. To look at another individual's and feel yours is not pretty enough or to try and duplicate one which you aspire is not really wise. Each soul's journey is a masterpiece in progress with its own unique combination of colours and theme. Each birth is a canvas which we get to improve upon our previous effort. We graduate when we finally learn the importance of all the colours in the spectrum and how to use them. 

What is your relationship with God like?

Sometimes, I am really angry with Him. Sometimes, I am just fed with. Sometimes, I am sure he chooses to exercise selective hearing where my prayers concerned. Sometimes, I don't want to plead for any help because I have given up on his speed of response. There definitely are hiccups in our communication!! However, there are occasions when I am downright grateful to Him for every little thing in my life. Though, I do wish he could be more indulgent of me as a young child instead of treating me like an adult and letting me learn from my own struggles. I want to be pampered a little!! Hellooooooo! I hope you are listening. I don't want to be spoiled rotten by having every whim and fancy satisfied but it wouldn't do any harm to have a few WANTS met at the click of his fingers. He is strict parent with me. I have grown up stronger, wiser and kinder because of the way he has brought me up. I know that and I appreciate that. But just as a child thinks ,at times, I feel that others have a more understanding and nicer God who give in to their whims more often. So, its a complicated relationship between the two of us just as between any parent and child, till I decide to grow up.

Are you a generous person?

 For some it is coded into their genetic material to be giving in both spiritual and material terms. However, most of us struggle in our lives trying to be generous. To be truly able to forgive and forget indiscretions of others and share your resources, one needs to be wholly emotionally strong and materially content. This is easy if there is mutual love, liking and respect. But what if the relationship is fraught with troublesome issues of perceived expectations from certain roles that we play in our lives. How does one deal with trying to be generous when there is a steady, continuous assault on a regular basis in some small way or the other on our self image as a good human being. The first instinct is to react and confront in justifying your position as the righteous one. But if we do not to follow that path then one option is to take refuge in our ego and say that we shall do the politically and morally right thing to have the moral upper hand . The other option is to emotionally distance oneself from the situation and do the best one can of what is expected, with the view, that you do not want to carry the negative emotional baggage and stress that comes from being small minded. I think though the first is very tempting the second option is tougher because it pushes us to be ungrudging and magnanimous without the emotional self- fulfillment and joy of giving and sharing unstintingly, from the heart. It is a small step in the long journey of learning to be generous without expecting something in return.

What is love?

As I sit with a cup of tea in my hands Alka talks and pours her heart out. I don't know how to comfort her and I just sit there, listening. I grieve for her as she remembers her husband and can only try to empathize with her feelings of loss. The bewilderment she faces every day in the morning when she sees the empty other side of the bed is a reminder that its a blessing to have your loved one to snuggle upto. As evening approaches she crumbles emotionally knowing that he is not coming home,ever again. So we have a lot to thank for that we are waiting for someone to come home.She fears what the future holds for her and wonders how she will face the difficult times ahead, all alone. Most of us are lucky to be able to plan and look forward to the future with our partners. Being together gives strength to be able to face life's challenges without fear and lonliness. We feel cared for, protected and cherished. Gazing at his photograph she proudly tells me how he always encouraged her in her hobbies and wanted her to look smart and pretty. It's indeed awesome to have someone special in whose eyes you can see the full potential of the person that you are meant to be and can become. Someone who has more faith and confidence in you than you yourself. It's difficult to define love attempted to but I have attempted to describe it so that we know when we are lucky in love.

Remember some experience which uplifts you?

An evening with just the right amount of chill to let you savour the onset of Delhi winter. Open air stage with twnkling diyas and lights.Cushions with crisp white covers on the amphitheatre seats. A slight cool breeze which coaxes you to snuggle into your shawl. An atmosphere brimming with the expectation of experiencing a magical evening. It was and everything more. As the Sufi music festival Ruhaniyat was ushered in by the strains of Punjabi shabad I was struck by the purity and strength in the voice of the singers. There was a grainy softness in the voice of the Kashmiri singers and earthy foot tapping melody in the songs from Rajasthan. The Egyptian group had everyone clapping and was a joy to witness because one could see how much they were enjoying performing. And if this was not enough the riveting performance of the Baul singer held me enthralled by the sheer elemental quality of her voice. Music, art and dance performances are truly experiences which go beyond  human language. They give a glimpse into the soul of the universe and beyond.

Can you laugh at yourself?

To be able to laugh at yourself is a gift. It's a unique ability to to be able to put the the other person with  whom you are, at ease.It's a lethal combination of modesty and humorous self-confidence which makes you extremely likeable as an individual.It lets you show vulnerability without weakness and encourages others to empathize with you. Then why is it that some of us are so scared of practicing this? What is it that makes us so straitlaced and boringly proper? Maybe it's because we are inwardly very insecure and try too hard to fit in with the crowd that we take every comment as outright criticism or compliment. I think we need to go easy on ourselves and rediscover the ability to have at our expense rather shredding others to pieces.

Why are we critical?

Sometime back I found myself fretting about something which someone else was choosing to do. I myself was surprised at my reaction and couldn't figure out why. After a lot of contemplation and soul searching the reason hit me with an impact of a speeding truck.We are almost never really bothered what people do if they are not within the ambit of our self definition. Close family and friends are people who we use to benchmark our positioning in life and we desire the comfort of sameness & familiarity from this group. Anyone who dares to do
things differently or hold contrasting opinion is immediately open to criticism. It is self-preservation mechanism
to guard and uphold the thinking "I am right". What makes us the custodians of deciding what is right and wrong?
This is a childish and immature way of living life.To really be mature and grownup means accepting that our reference group of self definition will have individuals who will choose to behave and do things differently and that diversity should be a source of rich experiences rather insecurities and criticism. Our self  has more depth and color the more we expose it to broader range of experiences.